Step Wives

Book overview
Stepwives: (n) (1) ex-wife and current wife to the same man, mother and stepmother to the same children; (2) women destined to battle for the love and control of their families...until now!
Lynne and Louise were stepwives for ten years. While they managed a barely civil relationship, each was seething with anger on the inside. It all boiled over in an ugly scene on the day Lynne saw that Louise was wearing shoes identical to her own favorite pair, and then they knew they had to find a new way of being a family.

With the guidance of marriage and family therapist Marjorie Vego Krausz, Lynne Oxhorn-Ringwood and Louise Oxhorn developed a ten-step program that has helped thousands of women begin to go from sworn enemies to CoMamas. You don't have to follow the program together with your stepwife; even if only one of you follows the plan, your stepwife relationship and the happiness of your family will improve. Learn how to:



Establish a good working relationship with your stepwife

Put the children first

Understand your husband's/ex-husband's role and how he can help

Handle vacations, holidays, and other big occasions

Packed with quizzes, lists, and other helpful tools, Stepwives can show you how to step into her shoes and have a peaceful, cooperative relationship with your stepwife.


Oxhorn-Ringwood and Oxhorn present a refreshing approach to solving the problems of parenting after divorce. Once bitter enemies (Louise married Lynne's ex-husband), the authors, with the assistance of psychologist Krausz, created a ten-step program called CoMamas to help ex-wives and stepmothers build a healthy relationship that puts children first. They have coined the term stepwives to apply to ...

More women who are the ex-wife and current wife to the same man and parent or stepparent to the same children. Based on the authors' own experiences and illustrated with quotes from their diaries, the book offers practical suggestions for developing empathy and learning to lessen tension and support the children caught in a divorce. While their suggestions are commonsensical (e.g., the mother should refrain from calling when the child is with the stepmother), their sense of optimism and cooperative approach are highly unique. Resources and suggested readings are appended. Recommended. Kay Brodie, Chesapeake Coll., Wye Mills, MD

Stepwives By Lynne Oxhorn-Ringwood, Louise Oxhorn, Marjorie Vego Krausz

Exs and Fathers Day

As today I sit on my sofa alone on the holiday in honor of the father of my children. I wonder how his day is going with our daughter's and grandchildren visit. This is the 2nd Fathers Day since our split. When just the week before he had called me to give me grief and complaints about being at the cabin with the kids and grandchildren the week before. I had gone so far as to include him if he cared to join as well which he declined.

This is another example of why I choose to divorce him. He wants to have control over my time where I go,shop, spend my time etc. it always takes 2 people to argue and heard the voice in my head say not to comment to him or reply to his mean words and drunkenness on the telephone. In responding to these threats I was in control of my life and reactions and choose not to partake in this manner of discussion and allowing him to treat me like a door mat. When I did not react in the manner he wanted me to he soon ended the conversation.

I did send a general card to him on this holiday. For after 30 plus years there is a past and I believe to empower me and lead by example in front of my daughters and families and teach the grandchildren that there is general respect we should treat everyone in the world foreign or domestic. By this manner I lifted myself up to the higher place in my own self esteem.

This feeling I have right now is empathy not resentment. I have moved and crossed over and not allowed him to have any control over me. I broke the cycle which means I cannot change him into the person I wanted hime to be but I have change myself into the person I want to be and stand for.

This is the best gift I can give to myself on this day.

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