Who said divorce could not be celebrated with cake!
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Enough
You Alone Are ENOUGH
You Have Nothing To PROVE
To Anybody
Thursday, September 6, 2012
It's kind of like Murphy's law, you know.
It's kind of like Murphy's law, you know.
** There's a time and a place to give your kids positive praise. Like when they've remembered to wash their hands after going potty or they clean up their room without being reminded 32,487 times. But not when they're all quietly (and nicely) playing together.
Because the minute you say, "I love the way you all are playing so nicely together", shit WILL hit the fan.
Do yourself a favor...take a mental note that your children are capable of such good behavior and leave it at that.
** Telling your kids to stay away from the hot stove will prove to be too much of a temptation. It's as if you're practically begging them to touch it so you can enjoy the rest of your day with them in the emergency room.
From now on, just tell them the boogie man lives in the oven. That will keep them far, far away.
** Don't bother threatening your kids with the overused (and ignored) threat, "You all better be on your best behavior while we're in this store".
Why, oh why, would you even allow these words to come out of your mouth? You are simply inviting trouble.
Just do what I do and say, "If any of you acts like a jerk while we're in this store, I will get on the loudspeaker and sell you to the highest bidder. Believe that."
** It's pointless to get excited over the beautiful eggplant that has finally come to life in your container garden.
Why? Because just as you're about to tell your kids it's not ready to be picked yet, one of them will violently rip it from its vine and proudly announce, "Mommy, it IS ready...see, I picked it for you!"
** Never ever throw away any paperwork they bring home from school. Unless you plan to shred it into a million pieces first and shove it to the very bottom of the trash.
Because they will notice it immediately when it's in the garbage can...even though you were pretty sure they had no clue where the garbage even was since none of THEIR trash ever seems to make it in there.
** Buying them expensive outdoor equipment to play on, like a huge trampoline or an awesome play structure, is a complete waste of your money. Not to mention a huge waste of your time, since most of these things require 2, 188 hours to assemble. And trust me, people, you will never get back those precious 2,188 hours ever again.
Your kids only think things like this are super cool to play on when it's in someone else's backyard.
Case in point: We gave our fabulously amazing play structure to a friend of ours because, of course, her kids loved it. When we went to visit her, one of my spawn actually whined, "That's not fair. I want a play structure like this!"
It took sheer willpower to stop myself from smacking him upside the head and screaming in his face, "Uh, HELLO....this WAS our play structure and YOU never played on it!"
** Your kids will pretty much ignore you until you're involved in a gripping novel. That's when they'll want to have endless discussions with you about some of life's biggest mysteries, like why blood is red, why God didn't give rabbits any vocal cords and how come earwax tastes funny.
** Boys will be boys. You might as well give up that pipe dream that all of their pee will miraculously end up in the toilet and that their rooms will smell as a fresh as a summer breeze.
It will never, ever happen...not in your lifetime, anyway.
These are the same creatures that think farting in one another's faces is the ultimate in hilarity. And successfully burping the entire alphabet is everyone's goal in life.
Just leave well enough alone because it's ingrained in their DNA. I'm sure your MIL would agree.
** Never give your kids choices, especially when it comes to food.
Tell me if this sounds familiar.
You: "Johnny, do you want an apple or grapes with your sandwich?"
Johnny: "I'll have a banana"
You: "We don't have any bananas. Your choice was an apple or grapes."
Johnny: "Okay, then I'll have a plum"
Need I say more? Just give the kid whatever damn fruit you want and call it a day.
** There's a time and a place to give your kids positive praise. Like when they've remembered to wash their hands after going potty or they clean up their room without being reminded 32,487 times. But not when they're all quietly (and nicely) playing together.
Because the minute you say, "I love the way you all are playing so nicely together", shit WILL hit the fan.
Do yourself a favor...take a mental note that your children are capable of such good behavior and leave it at that.
** Telling your kids to stay away from the hot stove will prove to be too much of a temptation. It's as if you're practically begging them to touch it so you can enjoy the rest of your day with them in the emergency room.
From now on, just tell them the boogie man lives in the oven. That will keep them far, far away.
** Don't bother threatening your kids with the overused (and ignored) threat, "You all better be on your best behavior while we're in this store".
Why, oh why, would you even allow these words to come out of your mouth? You are simply inviting trouble.
Just do what I do and say, "If any of you acts like a jerk while we're in this store, I will get on the loudspeaker and sell you to the highest bidder. Believe that."
** It's pointless to get excited over the beautiful eggplant that has finally come to life in your container garden.
Why? Because just as you're about to tell your kids it's not ready to be picked yet, one of them will violently rip it from its vine and proudly announce, "Mommy, it IS ready...see, I picked it for you!"
** Never ever throw away any paperwork they bring home from school. Unless you plan to shred it into a million pieces first and shove it to the very bottom of the trash.
Because they will notice it immediately when it's in the garbage can...even though you were pretty sure they had no clue where the garbage even was since none of THEIR trash ever seems to make it in there.
** Buying them expensive outdoor equipment to play on, like a huge trampoline or an awesome play structure, is a complete waste of your money. Not to mention a huge waste of your time, since most of these things require 2, 188 hours to assemble. And trust me, people, you will never get back those precious 2,188 hours ever again.
Your kids only think things like this are super cool to play on when it's in someone else's backyard.
Case in point: We gave our fabulously amazing play structure to a friend of ours because, of course, her kids loved it. When we went to visit her, one of my spawn actually whined, "That's not fair. I want a play structure like this!"
It took sheer willpower to stop myself from smacking him upside the head and screaming in his face, "Uh, HELLO....this WAS our play structure and YOU never played on it!"
** Your kids will pretty much ignore you until you're involved in a gripping novel. That's when they'll want to have endless discussions with you about some of life's biggest mysteries, like why blood is red, why God didn't give rabbits any vocal cords and how come earwax tastes funny.
** Boys will be boys. You might as well give up that pipe dream that all of their pee will miraculously end up in the toilet and that their rooms will smell as a fresh as a summer breeze.
It will never, ever happen...not in your lifetime, anyway.
These are the same creatures that think farting in one another's faces is the ultimate in hilarity. And successfully burping the entire alphabet is everyone's goal in life.
Just leave well enough alone because it's ingrained in their DNA. I'm sure your MIL would agree.
** Never give your kids choices, especially when it comes to food.
Tell me if this sounds familiar.
You: "Johnny, do you want an apple or grapes with your sandwich?"
Johnny: "I'll have a banana"
You: "We don't have any bananas. Your choice was an apple or grapes."
Johnny: "Okay, then I'll have a plum"
Need I say more? Just give the kid whatever damn fruit you want and call it a day.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Don't Allow Yourself
LOVE but don't allow your heart to be ABUSED.
TRUST but don't be NAIVE.
LISTEN to others but don't lose your own VOICE.
- Unknown
When A Boy Calls You
When a boy calls you HOT,When a boy calls you PRETTY,
they look at your face.
When a boy calls you GORGEOUS,
they look at your clothes.
But when a boy calls you BEAUTIFUL,
They see EVERTHING!
Thursday, June 28, 2012
PMS and GPS
This was to funny not to share...
What happen when you combine PMS with GPS.A crazy bitch that can track you down!
What happen when you combine PMS with GPS.A crazy bitch that can track you down!
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Reflections on my Wedding Day
Stepping Into Joy:
By Debbie Dickerson
Today would have been my 22nd Wedding Anniversary; our divorce was finalized a few weeks after our 13th anniversary. I find that when the calendar flips to this day each year I focus less on my divorce and reflect more on my hopes and dreams on my Wedding Day, so many years ago.
I had the wedding that all little girls dream about. My father is a minister and not only walked me down the aisle, but married me. Our wedding was held in the garden patio of a hotel in Laguna Beach, California. I can still remember standing and listening to the waves crashing in the background, quieting my nerves as my father read our wedding vows for us to recite. It was a memorable day that I cherish in my heart.
Like many young women, my hopes were that I would raise a family, excel in my career and be happy. I had a lot of ideas around what ‘happy’ would look like; mostly trapping of ‘keeping up with the Jones’ and living the ‘American Dream’.
As the years progressed, my career continued to excel and I did all the ‘happy’ things I dreamed about wonderful vacations, golfing, bought a house, learned how to sail and dined at upscale restaurants. In the later years of my marriage we had my beautiful daughter. Although I got what I wished for on my wedding day, I was empty, sad and lonely on the inside.
Once divorced, I had to rebuild my life which took perseverance, taking an honest look at myself and lots of boxes of Kleenex. A group of wonderful friends rallied around me. To them, I am forever grateful. It is through their example of living that I learned to rebuild my life.
Self-discovery is never an easy journey. Take it a day at a time, I was told. Through many tears I learned to peel the onion and get rid of the layers of bad behaviors and misconceptions about myself. At the core I discovered my talents, strengths and values of who I am today. I have learned to embrace and nurture my gifts and through my life have transformed beyond my wildest dream. I embrace life!
Today, I reflect back on my journey over the past 9 years and can honestly say “Today, I’m happy”. My happiness has nothing to do with what I do with my time; it has everything to do with the fact that I live in integrity and have learned to love myself.
http://www.steppingintojoy.com/reflections-on-my-wedding-day/
Saturday, June 9, 2012
My Life Is Better
My life seems so much better now without you in it, funny how I used to think I couldn't do without you. I smile more than I ever did before.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Someone Else's Problem
Don't stop being yourself just because someone else has a problem with you! Be true to yourself & if someone has a problem with it let it be THEIR problem!
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