Understanding Spousal Support

Spousal Support or alimony as it is known in some parts, is a periodic payment, usually monthly, that was either agreed to by the two individuals or determined by the divorce court and paid by one party, the 'Payor' to the other, the 'Recipient'. Normally the wealthier party is expected to pay this and traditionally it has been the 'husband' making monthly payments to the 'wife'.

The origin of spousal support can be traced back at least to the 17th century in England. In those days when a husband acquired the wife's property on marriage, alimony ensured that the woman had an income in the event of divorce. The awarding of monthly financial support ensured that a wife was not punished or made to suffer through the actions of husband that led to the break up of the marriage. This was to ensure that a husband who could afford to pay and maintain the wife, would not go out and commit an act to instigate a divorce, just so the he could avoid supporting the wife. However with the legal proceedings no longer been biased in gender, even males now receive spousal support.

Spousal support is separate form child support and only includes the money for the ex spouse. It aims to ensure that the recipient continues to partake of the Payor's wealth or earning capacity accumulated during the period of marriage. There are several considerations taken into account when alimony is calculated. These may change according to the place where the divorce proceedings were initiated. The length of marriage is a very important aspect and some counties limit the payment to a time period that is less than that of the marriage. Also the gender and the age at the time of separation are considered with women and older recipients getting a better alimony settlement from the courts. An important consideration is approximating the fault that led to the separation. In the event of the blame lying with the intended recipient, courts can refrain from awarding spousal support.

Spousal support awarded through courts can either be 'Rehabilitation support' where the money will fund either an opportunity to obtain professional skills or academic qualifications. Reorientation support is awarded when spouse can show that the property division does not meet with his or her requirements.

It may be of interest to some that there is instigation to get the laws regarding spousal support to reflect the times and get more up to date and in some parts there have been recent changes to the law. Courts try to ensure that the former spouse is able to live in a life style that was similar to what they experienced as a married person. At the same time now share the view that an adult is expected to be able to look after his or her own needs. The idea is to make the laws more clear and that couples can be aware of what they need to pay and are entitled to without a lengthy court case, that are built up on complex legal points.

Christine Crotts likes to play spy games with her young sons. This involves sneaking around, trying to catch the others without being seen. Christine has written a site containing reviews on walkie talkie radio, as well as the waterproof walkie talkie.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Christine_Crotts

Successful Woman

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Lana Turner

Hello God

The holidays can be stressful in their own way. Add in a divorce, recession, separation, single parents, depression, homeless, and other medical conditions. We sit some days and worry where will the next meal come from or how can I pay for my electric bill. Many single moms worry about Christmas and making the time just a little bit brighter for their children.

I came across this prayer today thought many women could use a little talk with the man upstairs.Enjoy, keep those special people in your heart while you pray along with them.

"Hello God, I called tonight
To talk a little while
I need a friend who'll listen
To my anxiety and trial.
You see, I can't quite make it
Through a day just on my own...
I need your love to guide me,
So I'll feel alone.
I want to ask you please to keep,
My family safe and sound.
Come and fill their lives with confidence
For whatever fate they've bound.
Give me the faith, dear God to face
Each hour throughout the day,
And not to worry over things
I can't change in any way,
I thank you God, for being home
And listening to my call,
For giving me such good advice
When I Stumble and fall.
Your number, God is the only one
That answers every time.
I never get a busy signal,
And never pay a dime.
So thank you, God for listening
To my troubles and my sorrow.
Good Night, God I love you, too.
And I'll call again tomorrow!"

Unknown author.

Quotes of the Day

The return on giving.

Make Yourself Necessary to Somebody- Ralph Waldo Enerson

Jigsaw Puzzle

Are you a jigsaw aficionado?

If you have worked complicated jigsaw puzzles,you know three things them:

First, They take time. Few people can put several hundred pieces of a puzzle together rapidly. Most large and complex puzzles take several days,even weeks, to complete. The fun is in the process, the satisfaction in the accomplishment.

Second, the staring point of a puzzle is usually to identify the corners and edges, the pieces with a straight edge.

Third, jigsaw puzzles are fun to work by oneself, but even more fun to work with others. When a "fit" is discovered between two or more pieces, the excitement is felt by all the participants.

Consider the day ahead of you like a piece in the jigsaw puzzle of your life. Indeed, its shape is likely to be just as jagged, its colors just as unidentifiable. The meaning of today may not be sequential to that of yesterday. What you experience today may actually fit with something you experienced several months ago, or something you experienced several months ago, or something you will experience in the future. You aren't likely to see the big picture of your life by observing only one day. Even so, you can trust that there is a plan and purpose. All the pieces will come together according to God's design and timetable.

On some days, we find straight-edged pieces of our life's puzzle-truths that become a part of our reason for being. On other days, we find pieces that fit together so we understand more about ourselves and about God's work in our lives, with others and inviting them to be part of the process of discovering who er are.

The main thing to remember is to enjoy the process. Live today to the fullest, knowing one day you'll see the full picture.

Life is what we make it. Always has been, always will be.- Grandma Moses

Holidays, No Time for A Self Pity Party

Ladies. the holidays are approaching fast. This time of year can be stressful. It is easy to fall into a ruit and have a self pity party. Please, please have plans. Do not sit at home all day and all alone. Due to divorce this may be the year your children are with your former spouse. So grad yourself by the boot straps and make plans. There are many things you can do to raise your self esteem and self worth.

Here are few ideas or things to do this holiday season.

1. Attend a local food self or kitchens and help serve meals to the homeless etc.

2. Call your best friend and ask if she needs help with her dinner. Being around friends is great and you can never have enough positive people in your life.

3.If you have family close by go to their house. Think of the dollars you would have spent to have a meal at your home and use that for gas money to see your family.

4.Attend a movie. There are so many new movies out and when you attend an afternoon showing is much cheaper than evenings.

5. See what your local church has planned and attend or help with their functions.

As you can see there are many things you can do this holiday season. For myself this year I am going to take the money I would have spent on a Thanksgiving meal and travel to Iowa to see family and friends. Then for Thanksgiving I have a friend who will travel with me and drive to Illinois to my fathers for the holiday weekend.

I feel very good that I took charge and made thiese plans so I am not just sitting around the house doing nothing. Being with friends many times around the holidays are the best medicine a doctor could order.

Enjoy yourself and enjoy your life.

Good God Girl What Are You Thinking

There are people who have good hearts. They are always looking to be helpful and do the right thing. Then there are the people who prey and take advantage of these good people. Many ex husbands do that with their ex wives or vice versa.

I soon learned this past week.. Our daughter just had her 3rd child. While the ex planned on attending and our daughter and older grand kids wanted him there as well. I was grandma taxi. I had to run and pick him up run him many places and my daughter these past few weeks. I had to run for him to work and picking him up for a ride home etc.

Don't get me wrong it was a christian thing to do. However, not once did he pay for gas.I learned last week he used my name and SS number to get Dish TV at his home. Tomorrow I will be meeting with him along with my attorney and his to discuss this item. He wants to have my spouse support reduced. Unreal!!

Here is a man I supported for over 30 years of marriage worked 2 full time jobs at times while he would work only 1 day or not per week.

When I got sick 2 years ago he decided I was of no value to him. The physical abuse and mental abuse increased to the highest level. He currently grosses close to 55K per year and I 20K on SSDI. His spouse support is 500.00 per month which makes my income 26K per year less than 50% of his.

He complains he is unable to live on his income due to the amount of spouse support he pays me. Then he goes and puts his utilities in my name or our daughters name without either of our permissions. Now, I have learned there is a difference between a person needs and wants. I have been very frugal. This is a man that smokes and drinks heavily in fact his is an alcoholic.

Basic math shows the amount he spends on cigarettes,vodka and soda more than covers my 500.00 per month. ( 1.5 pack per day @ $5.00 = $225.00 month. A huge 2 liter bottle of vodka per 1 to 1.5 days @ $17.00 per bottle = aprox $400.00+ per month. Then add in the soda needed to mix with the vodka 2+ liter bottle of Pepsi per day @ $1.50 = $45.00 per month. Totalling just these 3 items $225.00 Cigarettes + $400.00 Vodka + $45.00 Pepsi = $670.00+ per month. Which is more than enough to cover my spouse support.

He gets an annual pay increases from his federal contracted job. The next 2 years I will not receive any increases. The only increase will be in expenses. My medical insurance alone costs over $400.00 per month. He reminds me of a parent who refuses to pay child support for their children.

It tells you alot about a person. This person who took vows for better or worse sickness and health. Who enjoyed all the benefits for 30 years my income provided and supported him and our family. Now when the table is turned and my income went down 75% I was of no value to him. In fact he pointed this out verbally on many occasions that I was worthless to him.

I can say since the separation and divorce of 2 years I am much happier. People tell me all the time they can see it in my face and I am looking great. I must agree! I feel GREAT! There is physical pain each day due to my medical history, but that is small when looking at the emotional and physical pain I was living with while being married.

Looking back.... I say "Good God Girl What Are You Thinking". I knew I could not fix a broken marriage however I knew I could work and take care of myself. People would say how can you do it all? Then the ones closest to me would say they could see breakdown coming and so glad I woke up.

They would say:
"Good God Girl What Are You Thinking."
"Get Out"
"You Know What You Can Do About It."
"When You Are Ready I Will Still Be Your Friend"

Yes, it has taken 2 years to recover from the divorce to a abusive, alcoholic and unfaithful spouse with a hidden life style. While at the same time fighting breast cancer having a double mastectomy with reconstruction. Emotionally and physically I am a better person and I even love myself.

Each time I happen to be in the same room either at a family function etc. I chuckle inside I can see he is so negative and very good at malupation. Of course this is what an addicate does. Each time I get smarter and now being removed from all of it the air is much clearer.

There is not a day without physical muscle pain. Each day I look in the mirror I see the scars from when they cut into my body. But they never cut into my soul. Melissa Etheridge says it correctly "I Run For Life" The physical and mental scars are fading away. The darkness can be anything in your lives including divorce, death, breast cancer, and more.


Melissa Etheridge - I Run For Life:
Melissa Etheridge Lyrics I Run For Life
Lyrics Artist: Melissa Etheridge
Song: I Run For Life
Album: Greatest Hits The Road Less Traveled 2005

It's been years since they told her about it
The darkness her body possessed
And the scars are still there in the mirror
Everyday that she gets herself dressed
Though the pain is miles and miles behind her
And the fear is now a docile beast
If you ask her why she is still running
She'll tell you it makes her complete

[Chorus:]
I run for hope
I run to feel
I run for the truth
For all that is real
I run for your mother your sister your wife
I run for you and me my friend I run for life

It's a blur since they told me about it
How the darkness had taken its toll
And they cut into my skin and they cut into my body
But they will never get a piece of my soul
And now I'm still learning the lesson
To waken when I hear the call
And if you ask me why I am still running
I'll tell you I run for us all

[Chorus]

And someday if they tell you about it
If the darkness knocks on your door
Remember her remember me
We will be running as we have before
Running for answers
Running for more

You Are Kidding Me

A crisis may change your life. But it doesn't have to ruin it.

Love.

“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”

Quote For The Day

A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.

Love Is

“I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.”

Happiness

People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost.

Life and Happiness

Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 percent of all your happiness or misery.

Love

Forgiveness is the final form of love.

Quote of the Day

Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own.