Happiness

People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost.

Life and Happiness

Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 percent of all your happiness or misery.

Love

Forgiveness is the final form of love.

Quote of the Day

Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own.

Life

Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly!
Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably
And never regret anything that made you smile!

Maxine and Dirty Dishes

Dishes and Dishwashers.

Quotes For The Day

Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak. Sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go."

Loved

"I'm Accepted, I'm Blessed, I'm Loved by the Best!"

Post Divorce - Recognizing and Dealing With Untrue Accusations

Shelley Grieser - I am a Christian Life Coach specializing in Broken Marriages/Divorce. I work with people all across the country who are on their journey of recovery from divorce, to empower them to create a future they truly desire.

Going through a divorce is extremely painful. As I walk alongside a good friend of mine who is currently going through a divorce, I am reminded of the additional pain often experienced by hurtful words spoken or exchanged between spouses.

Amazing isn't it when you are on the outside of the situation you can see it so clearly. But when you are in the middle of the situation, on the receiving end of the hurtful words, you can find yourself deeply offended, even when you know the accusations are not true.

For example, my friend's husband has told her on more than one occasion that she is "a worthless human being." My friend is far from worthless. She is a very kind, caring and giving person. Also, she is a hard worker who has helped me with numerous projects around my home through the years. My friend knows she is not a worthless human being, yet to have her husband say that to her is heart breaking.

If you have been through a divorce, maybe you discovered that spouses can say some pretty mean things. For some people, if you reflect back you may realize your spouse had developed a habit of putting you down, with negative, demeaning comments. Over time you can easily start to believe the things that are said to you or about you, even when they are not true

I will never forget during my divorce when my husband and I were meeting with the mediator for our children. We were discussing one of the details for our parenting agreement and my soon to be ex-husband made some demeaning, derogatory comment to me. The mediator very sternly let him know that he was out of line and not to speak to me in that manner. She told him he was being disrespectful and his behavior was unacceptable.

For me, that was a real wake up call. I remember thinking to myself, "Wow! Maybe it's not just me. Someone else believes the way he treats me is disrespectful and unacceptable." It gave me a sense of validation for my feelings.

Since that day, my ex-husband continues to make belittling, critical comments to me in emails and/or in person. Although we have a fairly amicable relationship, the negative comments are still made. I am happy to say that after years of being treated this way, I have learned to brush it off more quickly.

If you experienced damaging, hurtful comments in your marriage, during your divorce or in your present relationship with your former spouse, are you aware of the false accusations? You may be so use to hearing them that you accept them as truth. Recognizing the lies and determining the truth may require help. You may want to speak with a good counselor, therapist, coach or trusted friend to help you sort through the comments made by your former spouse.

Here are a few suggestions for combating false accusations:

Recognize the untrue messages as false accusations.

Don't believe them. Don't allow your former spouse to push your buttons. When the words no longer elicit a response from you, they lose their power.

Replace the lie with a statement of truth. For example let's take my friend's situation. The next time her soon to be ex husband tells her she is a worthless human being, she can stop and say to herself; I am a worthwhile and valuable person. My friends and family love me and care about me.

Be patient with yourself. Realize it can take time to reprogram your response.

Don't take it personally. Understand if your former spouse feels guilty, jealous, angry or insecure about themselves they may speak critically of you to make themselves feel better.

Don't retaliate with the same behavior. Do not repay evil for evil.

If you need to vent, talk to a trusted friend. It is nice to have an understanding friend(s) that will listen to you and let you vent or talk through a situation when needed.

Make the decision to no longer believe the lies. It really does not matter what your former spouse thinks of you or says about you. I know hearing the words can be extremely hurtful and painful. Yet, you know the truth. Be the bigger person and do not partake in the verbal mudslinging.

Copyright 2009 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.

Do you dread communicating with your former spouse? Do you cringe every time you have to be in their presence, fearing what snide remark they will throw your way? Do you wonder how you will survive the next number of years having to communicate with your former spouse? If you are interested in reading more about divorce recovery, transitioning from married to single, and rebuilding your life after divorce, then please visit me at: http://www.ahopefilledfuture.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shelley_Grieser

1st Wives Club - Post Divorce

Ex Husbands What Are They Good For

Ex-Husbands - What Are They Good For? Absolutely Everything! By Connie Ragen Green

Connie Ragen Green will teach you how to write articles, blog posts, and eBooks to increase your web presence and build an online business.

After a divorce both the man and the woman are usually angry, hurt, and disappointed. They feel that the other person wasted their time and is not good for anything anymore. They just want to be out of each others lives. It doesn’t have to be that way. If you can get past what caused the marriage to fail you may see that the other person is a trusted confidant and good for absolutely everything.

My ex-husband is a wonderful man. We made every attempt to work together as a couple but finally we both realized that we were too far apart on important issues for us to stay together. We had an amicable divorce and went our separate ways. We had no children together but I remained close to his adult son and granddaughter. We would see each other on occasion and we both made sure that bank accounts, income taxes, and other matters were taken care of in a timely manner. I felt bad that I had been unable to make this relationship work but glad that we were still civil to each other.

About three years later I was injured at work. I was incapacitated for several months and needed help with shopping, errands, and my dogs. It was my ex who offered to help me during this time and I truly appreciated it. By then we were not angry any longer and had both moved on emotionally. We were able to enjoy each other as friends. I trusted him with my finances and knew that he would take good care of the dogs. He was purchasing a truck for his business and I was able to offer him some helpful advice. We had moved past the divorce and into a new phase for our relationship.

Many people I know think that it is strange to remain friends with someone you were once married to. Others think it shows great maturity. We are not concerned with what anyone else thinks. We just know that it is good to have a trusted, special friend in your life. Part of it feels good because we both see that we are good people, just not good together as husband and wife. If you have the opportunity to stay friends with your ex I would highly recommend it.

Connie Ragen Green is a speaker and author living in southern California. Visit her at http://www.SmallBusinessUnMarketing.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Connie_Ragen_Green

1st Wives Club - Ex-Husbands

Scorned Spouses - Ex-Wives Club

Scorned spouses get revenge in "Ex-Wives Club"
By Barry Garron Reuters


LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - Been abused by your ex? Cheated on? Belittled and marginalized? Then pull up a chair because "Ex-Wives Club" is for you, you and you.

Read More Reuters

Scorned Wives

Jenny Sanford

When Gov. Mark Sanford admitted to cheating, his wife stood in the spotlight — but not by him.

There's a slew of philandering politicians, and their wives are in the spotlight. Do they stand by their men, or do they feed them to the media wolves? Bing digs into details.
Nowhere in sight: Jenny Sanford is changing the rules. She refused to stand by cheating husband Gov. Mark Sanford, issuing her own terse statement about the ugly mess. (Don't know what he did? Bing does.) You can watch his confessions or her comment while driving with the kids.

Jenny's fans are applauding. The pundits are weighing in on scorned wives' reactions. The list of embarrassed wives is so long, you might want to start with a search listing the tawdry deeds. Read More

Step Wives

Book overview
Stepwives: (n) (1) ex-wife and current wife to the same man, mother and stepmother to the same children; (2) women destined to battle for the love and control of their families...until now!
Lynne and Louise were stepwives for ten years. While they managed a barely civil relationship, each was seething with anger on the inside. It all boiled over in an ugly scene on the day Lynne saw that Louise was wearing shoes identical to her own favorite pair, and then they knew they had to find a new way of being a family.

With the guidance of marriage and family therapist Marjorie Vego Krausz, Lynne Oxhorn-Ringwood and Louise Oxhorn developed a ten-step program that has helped thousands of women begin to go from sworn enemies to CoMamas. You don't have to follow the program together with your stepwife; even if only one of you follows the plan, your stepwife relationship and the happiness of your family will improve. Learn how to:



Establish a good working relationship with your stepwife

Put the children first

Understand your husband's/ex-husband's role and how he can help

Handle vacations, holidays, and other big occasions

Packed with quizzes, lists, and other helpful tools, Stepwives can show you how to step into her shoes and have a peaceful, cooperative relationship with your stepwife.


Oxhorn-Ringwood and Oxhorn present a refreshing approach to solving the problems of parenting after divorce. Once bitter enemies (Louise married Lynne's ex-husband), the authors, with the assistance of psychologist Krausz, created a ten-step program called CoMamas to help ex-wives and stepmothers build a healthy relationship that puts children first. They have coined the term stepwives to apply to ...

More women who are the ex-wife and current wife to the same man and parent or stepparent to the same children. Based on the authors' own experiences and illustrated with quotes from their diaries, the book offers practical suggestions for developing empathy and learning to lessen tension and support the children caught in a divorce. While their suggestions are commonsensical (e.g., the mother should refrain from calling when the child is with the stepmother), their sense of optimism and cooperative approach are highly unique. Resources and suggested readings are appended. Recommended. Kay Brodie, Chesapeake Coll., Wye Mills, MD

Stepwives By Lynne Oxhorn-Ringwood, Louise Oxhorn, Marjorie Vego Krausz

Scorned

Political Wives Amid Scandal
Carrying on after their husbands have made headlines

Scorned: A User’s Manual
The gospel according to Hillary, Elizabeth, and Jenny.

Newsweek

At some point, after Gov. Mark Sanford launched into his weepy press-conference apology and before I read his loving e-mail ode to his mistress's tan lines, I realized that I was in the presence of a media genius. I'm talking about Jenny Sanford, of course, who deftly transformed her public humiliation into a weapon—and beat her cheating husband about the head with it. While quoting Psalms!

In retrospect, her early comments on the governor's "disappearance" were brilliant. The first lady had known about her husband's affair for months and had given him the boot two weeks earlier. But when reporters were frantically asking, "Where is South Carolina's governor?" the mother of four boys fanned the mystery by telling the Associated Press that she hadn't heard from him in several days. Not even on Father's Day—a line Tina Brown likened to "a sharp, small kick in the groin."

Then, while Sanford's kooky mea culpa was still echoing in the rotunda of the South Carolina Statehouse, she released her own razor-sharp statement. She said she still loves her man and that she remains willing to forgive him and welcome him back. She quoted Psalm 127, that "sons are a gift from the Lord and children a reward from Him."

When I first heard it, I felt a stab of disappointment—yet another political wife scorned, somehow willing to put on a pastel suit and sob quietly in the background as her husband explains all the very good reasons why he had boinked a dear (tan) old friend, had an affair with a man, or spent good money on a tacky hooker. All of those wives have my sympathy: Suzanne Craig, wife of former senator Larry (wide stance) Craig. Dina McGreevey, former wife of former New Jersey governor Jim ("I am a gay American") McGreevey. Silda Wall Spitzer, wife of former New York governor Eliot (Client 9) Spitzer.

But there are a few wronged political wives who get my respect, as well. And I'm beginning to think Jenny Sanford is one of them. On second read, her statement is kind of perfect. It's loving. It's forgiving. It is pious. And she really kicks some butt, if you're willing to read between the lines. She reclaimed the high ground: she "put forth every possible effort to be the best wife during almost 20 years of marriage" (i.e., she did nothing to deserve this). She believes in the sanctity of marriage (he's a cheating bastard). She is ready to forgive completely (because she's a better person than he'll ever be) "as long as he continues to work toward reconciliation with a true spirit of humility and repentance" (there will be hell to pay). She says she will continue to focus on raising her sons to be honorable young men (unlike their dirtbag father). She had kept the separation quiet, she said, to protect those four beautiful boys, and because of the separation, she really hadn't a clue about where her husband was.

It is completely possible that she didn't mean any of those things. But what wife (or former wife, in my case) can't imagine what she'd like to say if she found herself in Jenny Sanford's pumps? And I'm guessing she had an inkling that the luv guv wasn't hiking the Appalachian Trail. By letting him hang himself—and look really dopey while doing it—she somehow managed to come out of a god-awful mess with a little bit of dignity. She may even have become the latest member of an elite club no woman wants to join: Scorned political wives who turn victimhood to their own advantage.

Perhaps nobody has risen from the ashes of a political sex scandal quite the way Elizabeth Edwards did. It was a terrible, undeserved public humiliation when her husband, John Edwards, had an affair with a video producer. But then again, she managed to get a book contract and in that book, Resilience: Reflections on the Burdens and Gifts Facing Life's Adversities, she managed to trash the other woman. She also vented about her husband to Oprah—just as the scandal was beginning to die down. Hillary Clinton, who has been criticized for overlooking her husband's many bimbo eruptions, managed to pull herself together and ride a wave of sympathy into the U.S. Senate.

Even though these women stood by their men in a way I don't fully understand, I feel confident that those men paid a hefty price for their misdeeds. Perhaps it simply reflects that there is a new breed of political wife out there. Elizabeth Edwards and Hillary Clinton were both formidable women long before they were betrayed by famous husbands. Jenny Sanford was a vice president in mergers and acquisitions at investment banking firm Lazard Frères in New York. All of them managed to take lemons, make lemonade, and add a shot of vodka. I can't know what is going on in Jenny Sanford's mind, of course, or if she has been as calculating with the press as I think. But I do know that she's demonstrated a far savvier political instinct for self-preservation and political spin than her husband has.

Article Source: Newsweek

Help Your Ex Husband On His Way.

Help your soon to be exhusband on his way. We are strong women! We can do it!!I just had my 6th surgery in 7 months for my breast reconstruction from my double masectomy. Divorce Decree still processing the final details. Also, 2 weeks ago I received notice for my SSDI approved. With the approval on the first time of appling sure did reduce some of my stress. While reducing stress helps your over all health and is the best for anyone to reduce stress.

Go for a walk today enjoy the summer and nature. Soak up the bit of nature and clear your mind and thoughts. Take care of you!!
Work At Home Moms Choices. WAHM Choices .com