Reduce Stress with Spa Secrets at Home

Reduce Stress with Spa Secrets at Home

Ahh...the spa. The tranquil sounds, low lighting and refreshing treatments are just what the doctor ordered to add some peace and serenity to the hustle and bustle of your busy life. But most of us don’t have the time (or funds) to interrupt our daily routine and make spa visits more than an occasional treat. Luckily, there are many ways that you can treat yourself to “spa-tacular” experiences each and every day.

Here are a few ideas to add some “spa” to your day and achieve a more serene state of mind.

Shower Worries Away
From the minute you awake in the morning, step into a spa sanctuary with a revitalizing shower. Start by updating your current showerhead with an oversized rain shower, such as Moen’s Inspire 9-inch Rainshower with InvigoRain pressurized spray, which provides a strong, invigorating rain shower experience with full coverage that envelops the entire body in high- performance water sprays. Or if you’d prefer a variety of spray options, try a multi-setting showerhead. Moen’s Inspire multi-setting showerheads allow you to choose the distinct spray setting that suits your mood. These showerheads are available at Lowe’s in today’s most popular finishes.

Create a Pleasant “Scentmosphere”
As you slip out of the shower, continue to stimulate your senses by smoothing aromatherapy oils over your skin. Products with essential oils provide both psychological and physical benefits; the aroma stimulates the brain, while the oils leave your skin feeling clean and moisturized. Some brands, such as Aveda, even offer a variety of body oils to “balance,” “calm” or “refresh” your senses.

Mood Music
Music has powerful effects on our mood. In fact, numerous studies prove that music can ease tension and uplift our frame of mind. As you start or end your workday, keep the pressures and stresses outside the car by swapping your Top-40 tunes for more tranquil harmonies. Amazon.com has a variety of great CD ideas, such as “Calm the Mind,” a compilation of relaxing piano compositions and the soothing sounds of nature, or “Peace: Pure Classical Calm,” a broad array of soothing classical tunes, or create your own serene mix by downloading your favorites from iTunes.

Less Stress at Your Desk
Does work have you stressed out and tense? Take a few moments at your desk for the art of reflexology. This age-old technique involves applying pressure to the reflex points on the hands to improve circulation and stimulate relaxation. Start by pinching each of your fingertips. Then, grasp each finger at its base and tug firmly. Allow your grip to loosen slightly, graduating it from the base to the finger tip until your finger slips out of your grasp completely. Within minutes you’ll be feeling less stressed and ready to finish out the day.

Fancy Feet
Whether you’re on your feet at work or just suffering from those stylish, but not so comfy shoes, the end of the day can leave you with sore and swollen feet. Luckily, treating your tootsies is simple to incorporate into your day – even while working on other tasks. Try a footbath with a variety of features, such as bubbles, jets and loofah, to energize your sore soles. Or for an easy (and inexpensive) fix, use a small, frozen plastic water bottle and roll your feet over it to stimulate pressure points and reduce swelling. Both treatments will refresh fatigued feet and are simple enough for you to enjoy while multi-tasking.

By adding just a few of these spa-like secrets to your day, you’ll soon be feeling cool, calm and collected – all without an appointment!

Courtesy of ARAcontent

Dance While You Can

My heart aches when I read that someone” forgot to live” yet I fear they express is all too common for many people today. Caught up in the business of living, we rarely have time to take close look and consider our personal lives. The urgent needs of the moment, weather at our workplace or within our families or with our friends, surround us and scream for our constant attention. We are so caught up in the race to keep up what we tend to lose track of where we really are with our lives…. and who we are becoming. For some people, the lost is devastating.

I recently spoke with a woman who described her husband, very successful in business as a “soulless man.” Everything about his life – his time, energies, and loyalties – was focused on his work, and when he came home, he had nothing left to give her or their children or anyone else. In her own haunting words, she said that “somewhere in his chase to get to the top, he lost his soul.”

None of us want to look back on our lives and wonder where the years have gone, especially with regrets that we never discovered what it means to live. But if we never stop and question where we are in our lives, this might be our experience.

Thank goodness, we don’t have to go this way. We can learn to really live our lives to the fullest. We’ve all known people who do so, people who have discovered their own life songs and make a fulfilling dance of their lives, even if they never dance with their feet. There are steps they have learned to make their dance possible. The beauty is that they can dance anywhere and all the time.

Dance While You Can is meant to help you slow down and consider your life’s dance. You may discover that you need to redirect your focus. It may be something as simple and yet profound as telling someone you love them or as complex as reconsidering your career and how you are using the gifts and talents God has given you.

It is said that Socrates learned to dance when he was seventy because he felt that was essential part of himself had been neglected. No matter what stage you are in life, it’s never too late to examine your inner life and make certain that, as Socrates said, it’s worth dancing.

Men are like....

1. Men are like Laxatives . They irritate the crap out of you.

2 Men are like. Bananas . The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.

4. Men are like Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

5. Men are like Chocolate Bars .. Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like Commercials . You can't believe a word they say.

7. Men are like Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off!

8. Men are like .. Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.

9. Men are like .. Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Men are like Popcorn . They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like Snowstorms . You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

12. Men are like Lava Lamps . Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13. Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped

7 Secrets to Happiness

7 Secrets to Happiness
True joy — not quickie mood boosts but that totally stoked mental state — boils down to these surprising essentials. Behold, your ticket to bliss. By Meaghan Buchan

We live in a world where there are endless possibilities. Think about it: As women, we have a billion options when it comes to careers, relationships, clothes...hell, even groovy exercise classes. And yet, we’re more bummed out than ever before. Proof: When Americans were surveyed in the 1950s, 53 percent said they were “very happy,” but by the late 1990s, it was down to 30 percent. “Intuitively, having so many choices should make you happier, but it can actually make you feel worse,” says Barry Schwartz, PhD, author of The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less. “The more options you have, the higher your expectations, and when your expectations are sky-high, you’re destined for disappointment...no matter how good things get.”
So if such abundance doesn’t make us happy, then what does flip our bliss switch? Is it adopting the lifestyle before we had so many life options? Not entirely. Our parents grew up with fewer choices to make, but assuming their life goals isn’t the answer, because the world isn’t the same place today. The key is actually a mix of things, some timeless and some that relate to this generation. Here, the essential elements.

1. You Need a Solid Core Group of Friends
Look at Carrie from Sex and the City. Through everything from Post-it Note breakups to snapped stilettos, she is generally one happy camper. Why? She has her posse. “Friendship is one of life’s main joys,” says David Niven, PhD, author of The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People. “Spending time with people who really know you affords you the freedom to be yourself, which increases contentment.”
But you don’t need to be the founding member of your own fab four to be happy. “You can have a small close-knit gang or various friends that factor into different areas of your life but aren’t necessarily part of the same group,” says Niven. “What matters most is that you feel open with them and they can be open with you.”
Of course, establishing openness doesn’t just happen. Friendships need nurturing. “In order for the relationship to grow, you have to share bits of your more private thoughts,” says Niven. Maybe that means spilling your secret desire to, say, audition for American Idol. “Once you reveal more of yourself and see that these friends accept you for who you really are, you’ll feel connected and therefore happier,” adds Niven.

2. You Gotta Have Adventures
Quick: Recall your favorite college memory. A hundred bucks says it wasn’t that time you studied really, really hard and got an A minus on your Chem 101 exam. The, um, yum incident with the teacher’s assistant in the lab after class ranks a little higher, no? Thought so. And that’s the point. “If everything you did in life was safe, you’d never have any exhilarating moments or crazy experiences to recall, both of which give you the sense that you’re truly living,” explains Brian Luke Seaward, PhD, author of Quiet Mind, Fearless Heart.
Now, we’re not suggesting that you totally hurl caution to the wind, but don’t get hung up on always staying on the straight and narrow. “People assume that doing the right thing leads to happiness, but actually taking risks does,” says Seaward. For you, that might entail going off on a three-day weekend with a new guy or just wearing that extraslinky minidress.

3. It’s Time to Toss Excess Stuff
If you can barely scrape together enough change to spring for that $4 latte, you’ll love this: Money (and all the crap that you can buy with it) won’t bring you happiness. In fact, when wealthy Americans were surveyed, they reported being only marginally happier than the general public. “When you have limitless funds, you tend to be hellbent on accumulating more,” says New York clinical psychiatrist Janet Taylor. “In the process, you lose the ability to appreciate what you do own and have difficulty feeling fulfilled.”
And you don’t need to be a gazillionaire to get caught in this trap. The problem might be that you just can’t seem to throw anything out. Like your favorite sweater from your high school days, that (hello!) is from the damn Gap, not specially knit by Grandma. “Extra belongings weigh us down and crowd our space, making us feel overwhelmed and disorganized,” says Dr. Taylor. “Lightening up will help you regain control and, therefore, happiness.”
On that lighter note, now is the perfect moment to purge. You don’t have to clean house completely, but you should hold on only to stuff you Love (with a capital L). “If you haven’t used or admired something in six months, part with it. No guilt allowed,” she insists. To be clear: That doesn’t mean stacking things in a giveaway pile in the corner of your room. It entails bagging up the items and disposing of them ASAP — whether you donate them to Goodwill or swap ’em on eBay.

4. A Balance of Busy and Dead Time Is Key
Always zipping around in spaz mode without a second to spare for even a pee break is bound to take a toll on your mood. But so is idling the day away on the couch. “Overextending yourself induces stress, yet it also makes you feel productive, like you’re contributing something, which is very important to happiness,” says Niven. “Similarly, inactivity breeds boredom, which inspires feelings of uselessness and discontent, but lulls are vital.” Essentially, all go-go-go will wipe you out, as will a solid diet of nada, but a mix of both? Bingo!
Okay, so how do you strike the perfect balance? Fill your days with stuff you love (your Tuesday-night step class) and stuff you have to do (balancing your checkbook). Just keep in mind that at the end of the day, you want to feel like “you’ve accomplished something but that you’ve also relaxed,” says Niven. Of course, the toughest part for most of us is learning to let go. For you, it might be enough to vow not to dwell on work after-hours or to schedule regular vacations. Others find meditation helpful. No, you don’t need to lie in the dark, chanting om for 10 hours. A quick eight minutes is all it takes, according to Victor Davich, author of 8 Minute Meditation. To do: Start by sitting upright with your hands on your thighs, palms up. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Hold it for a two second count, then release, letting your breath ease into its natural rhythm. Focus on keeping this concentration for the eight-minute span and you’ll feel lighter instantly. Really.

5. It’s Crucial to Give in to Temptation
You log overtime at work, hit the gym religiously, stick to a low-fat, no-fun diet, and even remember birthdays. Or maybe you aren’t quite so type A. But you still get to work on time, kiss your boss’s ass when you’d rather kick it, and play nice to your folks. Face it, making it in this world takes some serious discipline, regardless of your personality profile. “The pressure to keep up is so exhausting that it would seem like the payoff for showing such restraint would be great,” says Seaward. “But if you don’t stop to savor something pleasurable, you’re going to wind up miserable.”
Clearly, you must indulge. Some thoughts: Splurge on a gourmet sandwich one day for lunch instead of brown bagging it. Surf the Web rather than returning that hundredth e-mail. Get the deluxe spa pedicure. “When you feel completely overwhelmed, that’s actually when you need to treat yourself the most,” says Seaward.

6. Liking Yourself Is Nonnegotiable
Since you’re human, you have no doubt had one of those “Omigod! I can’t believe I said that” moments, followed by a “Stupid, stupid, stupid” fist to the forehead. Like, say, the time you introduced your guy to Bob the CEO at the office barbecue, only Bob’s name is actually Bill. Then you spent the rest of the night harping on what an idiot you are. “We tend to beat ourselves up, but it’s necessary to let ourselves off the hook,” says Ed Diener, PhD, professor of psychology and leading happiness researcher at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. “Inevitably, you’re going to make mistakes, and yet you still have to like yourself.”
The same holds true for those so-called physical imperfections that you let deflate you. You know, the slight crook in your nose that you swear makes you a prime candidate for The Swan. We can all point to 10 things that are wrong with us, but the key to happiness is appreciating yourself despite them, adds Diener.
And that ain’t easy. But it’s important to learn to keep your inner critic in check. So for every time you get down on yourself, remind yourself of something you excel at and get comfortable talking yourself up by tossing one positive thing (e.g., props from your boss or a sweet e-mail from your boyfriend) into conversation. “We tend to downplay our successes because we don’t want to sound like a braggart, but sharing good news is uplifting,” says Diener. “Not only are you reflecting on something that made you feel awesome, but the other person is going to get excited for you, which gives you an even bigger lift.”

7. You Must Stop Mentally Browsing
We know you’ve been here: You’re sitting at a restaurant, menu in hand, when the deliberation begins: Chicken or fish? Chicken or fish? After angsting for 20 minutes, you go with the fish... and then sit there until the meal comes, wondering if you should’ve gone with the chicken. Okay, maybe this is a very mild version, but in life, we do this on a larger scale all the time. “We convince ourselves that there must be something better out there, but ‘mental browsing’ is a recipe for dissatisfaction,” says Schwartz. “You’re wasting time and energy on doubting a good move just because there was another option, or 10, that you didn’t choose. You’ll never be happy if you live like this.”
The solution? Whenever a decision is in doubt — like whether your current guy is The One — pick two characteristics that are important to you (in this case, maybe it’s a sense of humor and a close-knit family). Once your criteria are established, ask yourself if they’re being met. If so, forget other options and move on. You’ll know if another option is better for you because it’ll nag at you. So relax, you’ve made the right choice...or at least one that’s going to make you happy.

Dance While You Still Can

Dance While You Still Can


I will make a commitment to fulfilling my dreams.....
no matter what I may be feeling.......
and I will dare to move forward
in the face of life's challenges
I will belive that what God
has placed inside me
is superior to the mountians
that stand in my way.

Winning at Weight Loss Takes Team Effort

Winning at Weight Loss Takes Team Effort
– Many overweight individuals try to lose those extra pounds on their own, instead of finding help that can teach them how to get and stay healthy. Interestingly, recent studies show that not only does the likelihood of being overweight increase among friends and family members, but also the opposite holds true.

When people joined a group based weight-loss program with friends and family, they lost more weight and kept it off better than those who joined the same program alone, according to research published in the Journal of Consulting Clinical Psychology.

“Obesity isn’t a problem that occurs in a vacuum,” says Karen Miller-Kovach, chief scientific officer of Weight Watchers International. “It should be no surprise, then, that the solution also doesn’t occur in one either.”

Whether simply working to lose weight and exercising with a friend, or attending group meetings through an organized weight loss program, people find better success with support, studies show. Witness the Weight Watchers phenomenon: those who attend meetings lose, on average, three times more weight than those who try to lose weight on their own, according to research published in the Journal of the American Medical Association.

Still not convinced that group support will work for you? Consider these tips when evaluating a weight loss support group.

* Look for a group that offers nonjudgmental support. “Few of us respond well to pressure and embarrassment,” says Liz Josefsberg, Weight Watchers Leader. Find a group, like Weight Watchers, where your progress is praised but not necessarily shared – unless you want it to be. “No one shouts out your weight or shares it with anyone but you,” Josefsberg says. “And if you don’t want to know it, we won’t tell you either. We’ll note it in the computer for later so you can track your progress.”

* Seek a setting where the emphasis is on total health and how your progress makes you feel, rather than on the numbers. Most of us have enough stressful goals to achieve at work and home; a weight loss goal should be something that makes you feel positive, not stressed. A gathering where you are able – but not required – to speak up and share will create a supportive, positive and stress-free experience.

* Both sexes need – and succeed with – support. Weight isn’t just a woman’s issue; both sexes struggle with obesity and the health ramifications of excess weight. Cardiovascular disease, which includes weight-related problems like heart disease, hypertension and stroke, is the number one killer of women, according to the American Heart Association. Losing 10 percent of your body weight is not only the first big step toward your ultimate goal weight, but it can also reduce your risk for many diseases and increase your self-esteem.

* Programs that advocate a specific quick-fix diet may be successful for some people for a period of time, but are difficult to sustain in the long run. Seek a weight loss program that emphasizes healthful variety and portion control, rather than a restrictive diet that may make you feel deprived. This allows you to fit your weight loss program into real life, including special occasions like birthdays, weddings and get-togethers.

* Meetings should be dynamic, diverse and fun. For example, Weight Watchers meetings not only include weigh-ins, but information on a weekly weight-loss topic, as well as support, tips, strategies from others sharing your weight loss journey.

* It is helpful if group leaders have gone through the program themselves and successfully lost weight as a result. “You wouldn’t take your car to a mechanic who’d never driven one,” says Josefsberg. “You’ll benefit more practically and emotionally from guidance delivered by someone who’s successfully lost weight following the same program you’re following.”

* Look for a weight loss program incorporating support that fits conveniently into your life. Most of us find weight loss challenging enough without compounding the difficulty. Programs like Weight Watchers now offer many meeting sites and online tools to help you stay on track between meetings.

You can find a Weight Watchers meeting by logging on to http://www.weightwatchers.com/, or by calling (800) 651-6000.

Courtesy of ARAcontent

Living Beyond Midlife Divorce

Living Beyond Midlife Divorce
By James A. Fussell - McClatchy Newspapers

Kansas City, Mo. — The day the appraiser came, Suzy Brown cowered in a closet. She cried whenever she tried to leave. Unable to regain her composure she fell to her knees and held herself as she rocked back and forth on the floor.

Selling her home was hard. Leaving the life she loved was even harder. A midlife divorce in the fall of 2000 left her no choice. She was 53 and alone after her 33-year marriage suddenly fell apart. She wondered if she'd ever find happiness again.

Seven years later, she has. Remarried in 2004 to "a wonderful man," she has dedicated her life to helping women in similar situations do the same. She plans to host a "Midlife Divorce Recovery Boot Camp" in Kansas City, Mo., to help women let go of the pain and find a new direction in their lives.

"I just want them to have one day where they can get some resources, be reassured that they can get through this and know that life has all sorts of wonderful possibilities," she said.
When it comes to the pain of a midlife divorce, Brown, who now lives in Kansas City, Mo., knows how much it hurts.

Related link
• http://www.midlifedivorcerecovery.com/
Her first husband, an otherwise good man who gave her many memories and four children, cheated. Worse, she said, he lied about his sincere vow to end the affair. The love and the trust she had spent a lifetime building were gone. Left in its wake were a collection of challenges women facing midlife divorces know all too well — devastation, menopause, an empty nest and a broken heart.

After her divorce, Brown became a shell of her former self, a dark shadow, a lonely echo. She wasn't sleeping well or eating right. She couldn't stop sobbing. Many days it was all she could do to get out of bed.

Then there were the questions.
How could she support herself? Would the hurt ever go away? Would anyone ever love her again? And who was she, anyway? Surely she wasn't the woman who had thrown things and — in a jealous rage — driven out of her way to holler insults at the other woman? Oh, but she was. And it hurt.

One day she decided she had had enough. She wrote in her planner, "I'm done with all of this ridiculous sobbing!"

It was then she discovered that she was hardly alone. Four women in her neighborhood and several of their friends had gone through similar pain. Maybe, she thought, they could help each other cope. She invited them over, even gave them a workbook with suggestions for taking action. They became known as the R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Women, an acronym for Rising Above Divorce in Confidence and Love. Eventually Brown turned that workbook into an actual book called "Radical Recovery" (Leafwood Publishers). The book will be in stores in May.

There were many keys to Brown's recovery. She asked for help, gave up her sadness and stopped feeling sorry for herself. She took simple steps, such as getting dressed and putting on makeup, that made real changes possible. She's confident others can do the same.

"I just want to give them hope because hope makes them realize there is life after divorce," she said. "And I want them to understand they have a choice. This situation makes you act crazy and out of character and absolutely despairing for a while. But once you get through the screaming and the sobbing, you can choose to have an absolutely incredibly amazing life."

Economy Woes Often Worse for Women Workers

Economy Woes Often Worse for Women Workers
– Soaring gas prices and wages that still don’t keep pace with what men earn aren’t the only worries the current troubled economy serve up to women workers. Women are at greater risk than men of experiencing a disability, and more than half the female workforce is unprepared for the financial impact of long-term disability, according Social Security Administration data.

The rate of disability among working women in the United States has grown almost twice as fast as among working males during the past decade (over 60 percent and 32 percent, respectively) according to Social Security Administration data. Half of women (51 percent) are unprepared to cover their living expenses for three months or more should an accident or injury leave them unable to work, according to the Council for Disability Awareness’ 2008 Worker Disability Planning and Preparedness Study.

The economy has imperiled resources that women could normally rely on if they lost their paycheck, including credit cards, home mortgages and savings. The collapsing housing market, personal credit card debts averaging $10,000 per household and the fact that savings rates are at an all-time low are posing serious challenges to the ability of women to cope with the financial impact of disability. To make matters worse, two-thirds of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck, according to “Parade Magazine,” making the threat of loss of income even more serious.

“With disability on the rise it’s clear that women need to prepare for an income-limiting disability,” says Bob Taylor, president of the Council for Disability Awareness, a non-profit organization focused on helping the American workforce become aware of the growing incidence of disability. “Economic conditions today make it even more important that women have an understanding of how they would cope in the event of a disability.”

By failing to financially prepare for a disability, working women risk serious financial consequences down the road, especially as accountability for personal financial security continues to shift away from social programs and employers and toward the individual worker.

“Women need to sit down and realistically think through what would happen if they were unable to work because an injury or illness physically prohibited them from doing so,” Taylor says.

Taylor suggests that women address this concern by creating a financial plan – and reviewing the benefits their employer offers. He also advises that you create a savings for emergency funds.

For more information about the survey or for tools and tips on how to financially prepare for disability, visit the Council’s Web site,

Healthy Sleep Routine Sets the Tone for the Next Day

Healthy Sleep Routine Sets the Tone for the Next Day
– Sleep helps our body recover from stressful daytime activities. It is also the healthy habit we most often neglect. Better sleep should be a priority along with healthy evening practices to set the tone for a good day to come.

It is usually easy for people to establish and maintain morning routines: bathing; packing a briefcase, purse or gym bag; and preparing snacks or a meal for the workday. However, evenings can be a time when we seek a release from scheduled duties. But it is vital to create thoughtful nighttime routines, starting with rituals that promote healthy sleep. To turn crucial evening hours into healthful days, consider the following tips:

“Recent studies link sleep deprivation to increased levels of a chemical that stimulates appetite,” says medical reporter and national health magazine contributing editor, Lisa Drayer, M.A., R.D. “People who sleep too little probably lack energy for exercise and this, combined with an overactive appetite, can be problematic for your health.” Thus, a regular snooze schedule - even on weekends - along with moderate daily exercise can help promote a healthy body weight.

Additionally, Drayer advises against dinners with a high fat content, as heavy meals can cause the digestive system to continue “working” hard when the rest of the body prepares for sleep. Although she recommends avoiding caffeine and large meals at least two hours before turning out the lights, Drayer permits the following sleep- and figure-friendly snacks: an apple, a small serving of pretzels or hot oatmeal, 1/2 cup frozen yogurt or low-fat ice cream, as well as berries with fat-free whipped topping.

Personal care at night also impacts the quality of our days. Plaque germs increase while the mouth is at rest, so it’s important to practice good oral care before you slip into slumber. In addition to brushing and flossing, consider adding a toothpaste and oral rinse like Crest Pro-Health Night to your evening routine. Crest Pro-Health Night toothpaste protects all these areas dentists check most even while you sleep: cavities, gingivitis, plaque, sensitivity, tartar, whitening and it freshens breath. And Crest Pro-Health Night oral rinse kills 99 percent of germs without the burn of alcohol for a healthier mouth that’s cleaner in the morning.

Finally, creating an environment that is conducive to healthy sleep is essential. Many researchers suggest wearing loose-fitting clothing, keeping the room temperature cool and turning off all potentially distracting items, like the television or radio, which may cause you to have difficulty falling and staying asleep.

Choices that promote healthier sleep equate to healthful days, which is something we all need.

To learn more about Crest Pro-Health Night and for other dental health information, visit