It Happens When You Are Not Looking

You know the old saying you find love or meet someone when you least expect it or not really looking.

Over the past few weeks I have meet someone. It is a new adventure. I am excited at the same time reserved. I have been dating off an on over the past years since my divorce. I was beginning to think all men where cheaters, did not take care of themselves, or have all their teeth. Don't get me wrong they can have their teeth missing however, get some dentures. I have joked and started a E book on the 50 worst first dates. That is another subject.

I was learning about myself, what I wanted, needed and would not settle for. Have you heard we are like onions? When someone said that to me we have to talk about the onion I looked at them and said what? I like onions. No. she said it is about the layers of an onion and how we peel this onion.

Cleaning and eating your onion:

When you hold an onion in your hand you look at the outer lay that has to be cleaned.
This is the first step we peel of that paper skin on onions. Take a hard look at ourselves. Invest in you first

Once the paper layer is gone we look at the first layer. We reveal very few things about ourselves as we meet people. We are guarded we have to build a layer of trust. Once that layer has been reveled and stable we peel off another layer of our onion and reveal a bit more. With each layer we look ask ourselves do we like this onion and I want to continue or does it leave a nasty taste in our mouth or is it just plain rotten.

We never run into a relationship fast without reading the road map along the way or ask for directions and maintain our auto.

So back to it happens when we are not looking. In the age of PC's and internate dating I connected withsome one. Started out several weeks with emails and telephone conversations. They we decided to meet for a soda in a common public place. There was a bit fear. However, unless we take a chance we may never know what we might miss in life. Besides, what have we lost a few hours drinking a soda.

I have to say my meeting was very good. No lack of conversation for both of us. He then asked me out for the following weekend which was a good feeling. A gentleman for sure.

Our first date we had to cancel due to weather. However, it did happen. He arrived with a flower and gift for me. I was taken back on the gift it was beautiful and I was not sure how to respond. It was a charm necklace. The charms where of all the possiblites of the future. It was sweet. The date ended with great conversations and the ackward goodbye. Will he kiss me or not. Well the answer is yes he did.

I will keep you updated in Jan or Feb on the progress of this relationship. Like they say It happens when you are not looking. We shall see where this goes and the as the charm was for the future possibilites.

Life

Love yourself. Those who don't love YOU should leave your life anyways. You are one of a kind, unique, beautiful. Just like fingerprints we are all different.

Three Little Words

Don't you just love those three little words? Three words every woman should hear every day: "You're right, honey!"

Choices, Life and Love

At some point in life, you have to stop complaining & realize that things are the way they are, because you made them that way..all by the choices you made!

Choices, Life and Love

Reason, Season or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Reason, Season or Lifetime

Life and Truth

If you think that seeing is believing then your wrong, because sometimes the most important things in life are things we can't see.

Truth and Life

Character

Character is doing the right thing even when you don't want to!

Character and Life

Inspritional,Life, and Independence

"If I cared what everyone else thought, I'd be just like everyone else, and there's already too many of them." ~ M. Rose

Inspritional,Life, and Independence

Quotes of the Day

Quote of the Day:
Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.

Mood Swings

If it weren't for mood swings I'd get no exercise at all!












Mood Swings,Exercise

Wrong Mistakes

It takes a single moment to realize what you did wrong and correct it.. but for some people, it takes a lifetime to admit they were ever wrong and fix it.

Life and Standards

Raise your standards, choose to be with happy and supportive people. Don't let anyone belittle your dreams, they are real, fear is not.

Life Lessons, Happy, and Standards

Dreams

Dreams are illustrations from the book your soul is writing about you.

Dreams

Face lift

Giving my smiley face icon a face-lift . Going from this ;) to this : >
I think I look younger.

Quote Of The Day

Quote of The Day: Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't. Margaret Thatcher

Quote of the Day, Lady, Margaret Thatcher

Dreams Life Lessons

Believe in the things you want in your life, listen to your heart, and follow your dreams!!

Dreams - Life - Life Lessons- Love

Dreams, Life, Friendship, Love, Philosophy

Never forget there is always someone who loves you wherever you are whatever yo do. Stay true to yourself and listen to your heart and follow your dreams.

Dreams, Life, Friendship, Love, Philosophy

Dreams

Live for the now; dream of the future and don't dwell in the past.We can only influence what happens to us at this very minute so make the most of it!

Dreams, Life

Dreams

What would you do if you woke up tomorrow and all your dreams came true?

Dreams - Life

Dreams and Life

We represent stars in heaven. Sometimes we shine w/ the rest, sometimes we twinkle alone & sometimes when we least expect it, we make someone's dreams come true.

Dreams , Life

Honesty

Honesty is the BEST policy! The truth always comes out in the end so why delay the inevitable?

Rejection

...is going to trust that rejection--in any form, from anyone--is simply God's way of saying "Careful, kiddo. You were going the wrong way."

Trust, Faith, Rejection, Wisdom, Breakup

Quote For The Day

Quote of the Day
Change before you have to... Jack Welch

Love and Trust

Love me without fear, trust me without doubts, love me without restrictions, want me without demand and accept me for who I am.

Love and Trust

Thought For The Day

Is through playing the rules of someone else's game.

Thought for the day, Love Lost, Realtionships, Hurt

Love

LOVE isn't something you say, LOVE is something you show with your actions. . .don't tell me you love me then treat me the way you do! ! !

Hitting Bottom

If you want somebody to learn from their mistakes...don't cushion their falls. We all need to feel rock bottom before we know we are there.

Realtionships, Hitting Bottom,Life, Love,

Realtionships

They say that there is someone out there for everyone but I am still waiting for that someone. I'm beginning to think my someone got hit by a bus!

Trust and Friendship

Real friendship is when you know all the horrible secrets about each other, and "IT'S OK" (:

Trust, Friendship

Trust and Love

Some people come into your life and some people leave it... you just have to trust that life has a road mapped out for you.

Trust and Love

I think Facebook needs a relationship status that says SINGLE AND NOT LOOKING

Quotes For The Day

Men are easily replaced, with batteries!

Thought for the day

If you always see the negative side of things, eventually that's all there is. Always look for the positive no matter how small.

Trust

Trust is difficult to earn and it is easily lost-the trust built over a decade can be shattered in an instant by one offhanded remark or deed.

Thought for the day

Good friends are like honey-they stick with you no matter what.

Thought for the day.

Letting Go

Letting go & starting over is hard, you just have to release it,accept it & move on. Let God take the wheel, keep praying & have faith for better things to come.

Thought For The Day

Believes any man in a relationship is OFF-LIMITS!! to other women...The MAN in the relationship should feel the same way.

Thought for the day

Quotes Of The Day

Sometimes it's not about remembering or forgetting, it's about acknowledgment.

Thought For The Day

Why is it that all the hot guys are jerks.. the sweet guys are ugly..and the hot sweet guys are gay???

Thought For The Day

How is it you can be lonely when you are in a room with someone?

Love, Hurt and Live

Live EVERYDAY as if it's the last and MAKE GOOD MEMORIES! Kiss and hug your loved ones, tell them you love them. You never know if you get that chance again!

Love, Hurt, Live, Life,

Trust and Pain

Worry does not take the pain out of tomorrow; it merely takes the joy out of today, 1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your care upon her, Phil 4:6 Be anxious for nothing.
Trust and Pain

Trust

Trust its a very funny thing- everyone wants you to trust them but they never want to trust you.

Trust Love Fear

"Love me without fear trust me without wondering love me without restriction want me without demand accept me how I am"

Love and Hurt

You can love someone with all you have, and get nothing in return and still pretend to be happy. It shouldn't be that way.

The Best Day Of My Life

The Best Day Of My Life. Gregory M Lousignont

Today, when I awoke, I suddenly realized that this is the best day of my life, ever! There were times when I wondered if I would make it to today; but I did! And because I did I'm going to celebrate!

Today, I'm going to celebrate what an unbelievable life I have had so far: the accomplishments, the many blessings, and, yes, even the hardships because they have served to make me stronger.

I will go through this day with my head held high, and a happy heart. I will marvel at God's seemingly simple gifts: the morning dew, the sun, the clouds, the trees, the flowers, the birds. Today, none of these miraculous creations will escape my notice.

Today, I will share my excitement for life with other people. I'll make someone smile. I'll go out of my way to perform an unexpected act of kindness for someone I don't even know.

Today, I'll give a sincere compliment to someone who seems down. I'll tell a child how special he is, and I'll tell someone I love just how deeply I care for her and how much she means to me.

Today is the day I quit worrying about what I don't have and start being grateful for all the wonderful things God has already given me.

I'll remember that to worry is just a waste of time because my faith in God and his Divine Plan ensures everything will be just fine.

And tonight, before I go to bed, I'll go outside and raise my eyes to the heavens. I will stand in awe at the beauty of the stars and the moon, and I will praise God for these magnificent treasures.


As the day ends and I lay my head down on my pillow, I will thank the Almighty for the best day of my life. And I will sleep the sleep of a contented child, excited with expectation because know tomorrow is going to be the best day of my life, ever!

Ben and Jerry

Ben and Jerry the only two men in the world to fully understand women.

Wife Told You How To Do It

If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?

Right Person

They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck

Strong Woman

It takes a strong woman to remain in a bad marriage, it takes a STRONGER woman to leave that marriage, even if it means losing everything but your kids.

Successful Woman

A successful woman is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at her ..Keep throwing I'll continue to build my empire...

Computer Passwords

Horny husband helping his wife type in a password for her computer typed in MYPENIS wife fell over laughing when it said not long enough.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the economy of the heart... forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits.
Hannah More

Men Working

SIGN ON SIDE OF THE ROAD READS: CAUTION Men at work - Seriously? Women work all the time but men need signs when they do it?? I guess they need the validation!

TGIF

Says....TGIF.... Thank God I'm Female!

Being A Woman

Being a female is a matter of birth. Being a woman is a matter of age. But being a lady... that's a matter of choice

Ouotes of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.
Suzanne Somers

Quote Of The Day

Quote of the Day

When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go.

Carol Burnett

Dance Like Nobody Is Watching

Dance Like Nobody Is Watching by Crystal Carol.

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are. After that we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire.

The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?

Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. Alfred D Souza said, "For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."

This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have. And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time ... and remember that time waits for no one...

So stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you've had a drink, until you've sobered up, until you die, until you are born again to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy...

Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

Thought for the day :
Work like you don't need money,
Love like you've never been hurt,
And dance like no one's watching.

Forgiveness Quotes

Forgiveness is a funny thing, it warms the hearts and cools the sting.
Peter Allen

Good Stuff About Divorce

Good Stuff About Divorce

Could there possibly be anything good about this whole dreary divorce business? Well, uh, yeah. Herewith,

You can eat onions and even garlic anytime you want.
No one griping about pulling over to ask directions when you're lost.
You don't have to be nice to your mother-in-law any more.
You can sleep on either side of the bed.
You can take hours to decide what to wear, just like when you were a teenager, and nobody will mind or call you crazy or indecisive or neurotic.
You don't have to make up the bed.
You can buy something nice for yourself, and no "guilt offering" for anybody else.
No more trying to get the "skid marks" out of his underwear.
No more arguing - "Chinese!" -- "Pizza!" -- "Chinese!" -- "Pizza!"
You can go to the movies any time you want, or you can just stay home and eat ice cream.
No more pee splashes around the toilet.
You can throw a divorce party.
No more arguing about Conan the Barbarian vs. Steel Magnolias.
I can display my Jon Bon Jovi pictures once again on my fridge.
I can buy as many pairs of shoes as I want.
You can change the goofy name of the cat.
No more feeling like a child being controlled by her father.
I don't have to go around the house picking up his garbage anymore!
I can bounce on my indoor mini trampoline whenever I want. It sounds like a squeaky bed and I don’t have to deal with the conflicting complaints of ‘too much noise’ and ‘my God, did you eat all that ice cream’!!!
You can fall asleep on the couch with the TV on and not get yelled at to "Just go to bed!"
No more unanswerable "Do I look fat in this?" questions.
No more listening to his three favorite words: "me," "mine," and "no."
I can enjoy the companionship of all the wild animals I want to in my home, and they're so much easier to clean up after than the X.
Nobody is telling you to come to bed when you don't want to be in bed with them. It's not like we were going to have sex!
No more feeling guilty when his plans don't fit in with what I want to do.
No more apologizing for thinking of me and my needs before him and his needs.
I decide my daughter's punishment when she eats chocolate cake for dinner.
My daughter decides my punishment when I eat vanilla ice cream for breakfast.
No more insults about my spirituality or how I choose to worship.
No more where have you been, where are you now, who are you with, and why aren't you home yet.
Leave the lid down if you want to.
No more watching him pick his nose.
You don't have to hide your Milano cookies any more.
Nobody glaring at you for being online for more than, say five hours.
KNOWING that if you left 2 cans of tuna in the shelf...they'll still be there, by golly!
You don't have to live the rest of your life having sex with your ex and no one else. You can do it whenever you want, with whomever you want, however you want, or not do it at all, and it's nobody's business but your own!
If you want cereal for supper, you eat cereal for supper.
I can get rid of all those items we had to keep out in case his family came by.
I can give those same items as gifts to the people I like the least.
No more sleeping on the couch because the snoring is so loud.
You get to read the newspaper first, all in neat little sections.
No more put-downs! (nobody's perfect)
I can eat Goo-Goo Clusters in any room in the house, not just in the bathroom.
I don't need the plunger any more.
No more yelling because he's going deaf and won't admit it.
Nobody but you messes with the checking account.
Save money on anniversary cards.
No more humming during sex so he'll think you're moaning.
No more razor stubble in the sink.
If something breaks, I fix it. I don't have to wait around for somebody else to decide that it's broken.
Go ahead and hang your underwear on the lampshade.
No more "straightened" rooms- and all your things put in bizarre places where you'll never find them.
Rearrange the furniture.
You can live more simply.
You can drink out of the milk carton with a clear conscience.
The knowledge that the statement : "Sorry, I am out with a friend right now, can I call you tomorrow?" will eat at his gut 'til it's gone, regardless whether you are just at the grocery store alone or at a party with a zillion friends. He will know you have moved on and it will bug him to pieces!!
You can experiment with all those weird vegetarian recipes you've always been meaning to try.
No more weird changes on the computer.
You can upgrade to that 120-gig hard drive without adding anything to the Waterford crystal.
You can embrace loneliness.
You can use all the drawers. Yes, all of them.
Ditto the closet and the garage.
Plenty of hot water, and no wait for the shower.
You don't have to listen to stupid music.
You can actually USE the grill instead of waiting for him to get up and cook something.
You can listen to all the stupid music you want to.
Sole custody of the TV remote.
Can flagrantly use potpourri, fragrances, flowers, and perfumes without dealing with those gagging noises coming from the depths of the recliner chair.
Sole custody of the recliner chair!
Nobody (including you) complains about the thermostat setting. You can keep the house as cold (or as warm) as you want.
His smelly-holey boxers are gone. Gone!
You can hang the Nerf basketball hoop on the door of the living room.
Nobody expects you to be thinking clearly, so you can flake out and get away with it.
Good time to get braces.
I can find somebody better!

I have to pull these out for special attention, because they came in within 48 hours of each other!

No more farts in bed.
I can fart in bed anytime I want to.

Survive Divorce

You Can Survive Divorce

The first thing you need to do is to take a deep breath. Of course you're panicked. Of course you believe that the world is crashing in around you. That's what you're supposed to be feeling. The fact is, though, that you're very likely to get through this okay.

Think about it. Last year in the U.S. alone, there were more than one million divorces. That's two million people who have gone through this recently and and have lived to tell about it. They got through it. So can you.

Now take another deep breath. See? You'll make it okay, friend. Now let's get started.

Read some of the information on Cutting Through the Crud. There's lots of information there about the divorce process and about how you and your spouse can get through it without killing each other.

As you get more knowledgeable about the Crud, you'll begin gathering information about the main issues of your divorce. This will include your property division, what arrangements to make for your children if you have them, and what sort of child support or alimony is appropriate in your case. And after (but only after) you have some basic information under your belt, you can begin thinking about what kind of professional help you're going to need.

Divorce stinks - there's no question about that. Your challenge is to get through it, one step at a time. You're going to make it. Really.

Life After Divorce

How Will You Live After Divorce?

One of the many challenges that makes divorce so complicated is that even while you're dealing with all the crud of the divorce process itself, you must be thinking about how you will get on with a new life for yourself and your children after divorce.

This includes your parenting plan, if you have children. And also if you have children, you've probably already started thinking about child support, whether you're going to be paying it or receiving it. It also includes figuring out what role alimony is going to play, establishing credit for yourself as a single person, and changing your role socially.

There's a handy checklist here on Divorceinfo.com for you to use after your divorce. Click here to see it.

One of the first things I recommend you do, if you haven't already done so, is to think through your budget. If you're like most people emerging from your divorce, you'll realize that what you're planning to spend is more than what you're planning to have coming in. It's painful, but you'll probably have to make some changes in the way you live, at least for the next year or two. The sooner you realize what changes are in store, the less painful those changes will be.

For women, you'll probably need to think through some of the Guy Stuff he's been doing.

After you're finished with your divorce (or maybe even while you're finishing), you may want to check out Divorce Wrap-up to begin moving on with your life. For most of us, that includes a new will. And you may even be ready to think about Dating After Divorce.

If you and your spouse are cooperative (or if money is really tight), you may be considering living together even after your divorce is effective. You may even be thinking about remarrying.

Domestic Violence

While you SCREAM at your woman, there's a
man wishing he could whisper softly in her ear... While you HUMILIATE,
OFFEND and INSULT her, there's a man flirting with her and reminding her
how wonderful she is. While you HURT your woman, there's a man wishing
he could make love to her. While you make your women CRY there's a man
stealing smiles from her... Please RE Post this if you're against
Domestic Violence

Re Commit

If we fall, we don't need self-recrimination or blame or anger - we need a reawakening of our intention and a willingness to re-commit, to be whole-hearted once again

Quote of the Day

Quote of the Day

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; Some blunders and absurdities have crept in. Forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered by your old nonsense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Strong Postive Attitude

Strong Postive Attitude
A strong positive attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug.

Perseverance

Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another... Walter Elliott

There is Life After Divorce

There is Life After Divorce
by Fran Watson

A married woman becomes a single woman for one of two reasons: death or divorce. The former is an honourable state, the latter is not.

When a woman loses her husband to death the neighbours all rally round and provide meals and any help they can give with regard to household repairs or cleaning or anything that is needed. They are willing to provide comfort and a shoulder to cry on. They are available for the widow and they include her in their activities, feeling sorry for her that she is now so alone.

However, things are quite different when a marriage ends due to infidelity or marital breakdown. That immediately plunges a woman into a new category. She is transformed, instantaneously it seems,from a married woman to a divorcee. Becoming one of many, part of a group of used and discarded women, seen as suspect by all those who are still safely ensconced in the womb of their marriage.

People tend to withdraw from her. Invitations to get togethers cease. It appears that women think their husbands might be attracted to the idea of an “available woman” and so the women who used to be friends withdraw and leave her alone with her tears and her fears. There are no meals prepared and no offers of help. Husbands are kept at home just in case, for such is the image portrayed of a divorcee. The husbands might not be safe. She might cause the destruction of other marriages.

We read jokes all the time about the lonely divorcee who invites the mailman, the milkman, or the Maytag repairman into her home with the intent of seducing him. (A joke made up, I am sure, by a man who has never known the humiliation and pain of being a divorcee.) Perhaps she even seduces them one right after the other, for such is the life of the “gay divorcee”, isn’t it? Freed from the bonds of marriage, with unmet needs and desires, divorcees are wanting to fill the void; or at least that is the popular image. And so in place of invitations to parties or neighbourhood barbeques which were formerly were issued to the couple and their family, there is an empty mailbox, and the phone stays quiet. She checks it every now and then to make sure it is still working.

The divorcee begins to feel as though she no longer exists; as if, because she is no longer half of a relationship, she ceases to be a part of the neighbourhood. Women who used to call her friend no longer call. Her children are not invited to play with the neighbours’ children. Perhaps the women feel they would be contaminated by the disease of divorce, as if it were a virus that could be caught, or maybe they just don’t know how to talk to a newly divorced woman. A divorced man, on the other hand, is often seen as more eligible and is a welcome addition to many parties. His social life may increase, and because he usually does not have the children, his disposable income is often enough to keep him comfortably.

However, life goes on. The bills still have to be paid, the kids still have to be fed and they have to be clothed. Family chores that were done by two are now done by one. If the children are old enough, they can chip in and help with the household duties such as dishes and meal preparation and housecleaning. Because of the reduction in income, the divorcee is often forced to seek employment and then she has two jobs; one inside and one outside the home.

Sometimes the inside life doesn’t change much. For those who had husbands who simply went to work and came home at night expecting to be waited on, their workload is reduced by one person, so this can be a blessing. But the availability of a backup when she is really tired and the kids are really obnoxious is a problem. She has to deal with all the problems, tired or not.

Because she has been ostracized by her neighbours she seeks out other divorcees for companionship, often building relationships and forming deep bonds that last for years as they share the day to day problems and achievements. They get together with their kids and pool their resources for family dinners. They support each other in job searches, in the handling of problems, in the fights with their exes. They listen to each other and care for each other’s children.

Sometimes, because of the great reduction in income, divorcees are forced to apply for an allowance from the provincial government. This is known as welfare or Mother’s Allowance. There they are told that they have no right to have a phone or a car, or any of the things they consider necessities but the government considers luxuries, such as a heating bill over the allotted amount. Widows, on the other hand, usually receive a pension from their husband’s estate which they can spend however they want, with no rules. The divorcees are told to sell the car and get rid of the phone, even if they are out in the country. If they have a house, they might have to give it up and move the children to a new area. Sometimes, in order to survive, they may use credit cards to buy the things they feel they need for their kids for school and other activities. They may not be able to send their kids on school trips or buy the clothes that the kids need to fit in and so their kids may be ridiculed because of the way they dress. When the kids come home crying, they often feel guilty and wonder if they couldn’t have worked things out better with their ex-husbands. They cry but try to hide the tears from their children, not wanting to upset them.

When the divorcee ventures into the realms of the full-time employee instead of part-time, she must find a babysitter for her kids, arrange everyone’s schedule and settle into her new lifestyle. She tries to find a boss who is willing to let her attend the various special events at her children’s school and cries silently to herself when she is unable to attend a day graduation due to work, or when she is unable to see her children receive sports awards, but she knows that she is doing the best she can. She attends what she can in the evenings and on weekends and hopes it is enough.

As the divorcee settles into life on her own, she may begin to find advantages such as being able to go where she wants, when she wants and with whom she wants. She has only to consider herself, and her kids, if she has any. Eventually the heartaches will ease a little and the divorcee will reach out to others a little more, perhaps even being willing to take the risk of dating another man.

Her circumstances may not have changed a lot. She still struggles to pay bills, to provide for her kids, yet she finds her life is full. Not the rumoured life of the gay divorcee, replete with men or with parties and wild living, but one of love for her kids, and perhaps of studying for a degree while working in a fulfilling career where helping others. She has weathered the storms of life and feels that she has come out on top. Her children move on to their own homes and to employment. Perhaps her eldest has his dream job, that of webmaster and service technician. Another may become the youngest Inventory Control Manager and the only female one in Eastern Ontario for a large soft drink company. Another, with a child of her own, may work part-time and plan to return to school to take an Esthetics course. Her children could be very involved in hockey, perhaps playing at the AA level or Junior A level which requires a lot of travelling and sacrifice of personal time. But to her it is all worth it to watch her child score the winning goal and to see the smile on his face as he turns from the net. Her heart swells with pride as his teammates congratulate him and the parents lean over to say how well he played.

Yes, life continues after divorce, the pain and heartache suffered in the beginning eventually fade somewhat and the divorcee finds the strength to survive and, more than that, to move on to whatever the future has in store.

For more poetry and stories you can go to Fran's webpage http://www.franwatson.ca

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Fran_Watson

Does Legal Separation Always End in Divorce?

Legal Separation is a legal procedure that allows married couples to spend time apart for a variety of reasons as two separate or single people while retaining the legal status of their marriage.

We will first look at some of the advantages of separating over divorce or even annulment. Legal separation is to get a district court order (in the USA) stating the responsibilities both partners have towards each other and the rights they are entitled to enjoy as they live apart. This order is initiated though a petition to the court and the notice is served on the other partner. The court that issues the order has in its power, to solve all the normal problems that are settled in divorce court. So in effect, a situation is created where the two can remain as if divorced, while maintaining their marriage in the legal books.

The first advantage is that since they are still married, one spouse will be covered by the insurance of the other. They will also enjoy social security and pension and such benefits available that are the privilege of married couples. Secondly, though marriage seemed to have lost the sanctity that it had say 50 years ago and divorce rates are much, much higher, followers of certain sects of faith still avoid divorce. However, rather than stay in the confines of what would probably be a difficult situation they can use a legal separation.

In the event of some irrevocable rift in the relationship, couples sometimes seek to divorce quickly. However, the laws of certain states in the USA and the laws of some countries require that the couple be separated from each other for sometime, before they go about unraveling their marriage legally. For couples that are in a hurry to extract themselves from each other, legal separation allows a much quicker alternative. Also couples can use it as a trial, or as an opportunity to spend sometime away from each other and take look at their lives. During this period of trial, the court allows the separation of property and even childcare is allocated to each parents. The drawback some parties find with the legal separation is that, many judges will award the final settlements in divorce cases, based on what was agreed at the time of parting. This probably will be a good point form the wealthier partners view as he or she can get an idea of how much the divorce will cost. However, should you find someone else you wish to enter into marriage with, you would have to pay visit to the divorce courts, as you are still legal married.

On the positive side, legal separation has resulted in people actually saving their marriages, as the time apart had allowed them to look objectively at the situation, work out how to improve their relationship and probably in some cases when one partner thought staying married might be less costly, though it may be cynical to say so.

It could be said that legal separation do not always end in divorce, however not all partners that do not end up divorced are reconciled either.

Christine Crotts enjoys listening to her music or the local talk shows while working in the kitchen. Christine has written a site containing reviews on table radios, as well as the Bose radios.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Christine_Crotts

Understanding Spousal Support

Spousal Support or alimony as it is known in some parts, is a periodic payment, usually monthly, that was either agreed to by the two individuals or determined by the divorce court and paid by one party, the 'Payor' to the other, the 'Recipient'. Normally the wealthier party is expected to pay this and traditionally it has been the 'husband' making monthly payments to the 'wife'.

The origin of spousal support can be traced back at least to the 17th century in England. In those days when a husband acquired the wife's property on marriage, alimony ensured that the woman had an income in the event of divorce. The awarding of monthly financial support ensured that a wife was not punished or made to suffer through the actions of husband that led to the break up of the marriage. This was to ensure that a husband who could afford to pay and maintain the wife, would not go out and commit an act to instigate a divorce, just so the he could avoid supporting the wife. However with the legal proceedings no longer been biased in gender, even males now receive spousal support.

Spousal support is separate form child support and only includes the money for the ex spouse. It aims to ensure that the recipient continues to partake of the Payor's wealth or earning capacity accumulated during the period of marriage. There are several considerations taken into account when alimony is calculated. These may change according to the place where the divorce proceedings were initiated. The length of marriage is a very important aspect and some counties limit the payment to a time period that is less than that of the marriage. Also the gender and the age at the time of separation are considered with women and older recipients getting a better alimony settlement from the courts. An important consideration is approximating the fault that led to the separation. In the event of the blame lying with the intended recipient, courts can refrain from awarding spousal support.

Spousal support awarded through courts can either be 'Rehabilitation support' where the money will fund either an opportunity to obtain professional skills or academic qualifications. Reorientation support is awarded when spouse can show that the property division does not meet with his or her requirements.

It may be of interest to some that there is instigation to get the laws regarding spousal support to reflect the times and get more up to date and in some parts there have been recent changes to the law. Courts try to ensure that the former spouse is able to live in a life style that was similar to what they experienced as a married person. At the same time now share the view that an adult is expected to be able to look after his or her own needs. The idea is to make the laws more clear and that couples can be aware of what they need to pay and are entitled to without a lengthy court case, that are built up on complex legal points.

Christine Crotts likes to play spy games with her young sons. This involves sneaking around, trying to catch the others without being seen. Christine has written a site containing reviews on walkie talkie radio, as well as the waterproof walkie talkie.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Christine_Crotts

Successful Woman

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Lana Turner