Thursday, May 14, 2009

Dating and the Single Parent

Dating can be difficult enough, without figuring children into the equation. For many single parents, however, dating is extra tough because they must protect their children’s interests and emotional well being. Due to the emotional nature of children, single parents often find it extremely difficult to date.

One of the most important things that parents must take into consideration is balancing their time with their children’s needs. For single parents whose children spend weekends with the other parent, dating is a bit easier. The single parent can schedule dates for weekends, typically every other weekend when the child is visiting the other parent. This avoids much of the stress that children can experience when they realize that their parent is dating. It is also a good way to screen potential relationships without worrying that your children might become emotionally involved. For many single parents, they can date on these weekends without their children being aware that they are going out.

For other parents, however, the other parent isn’t in the picture and children are very close to the care giving parent. These parents must be more careful regarding dating and keeping a fine line drawn between their dating life and their children.

The most difficult thing to determine is when your children will be ready to meet your new partner. You don’t want to make the mistake of having your children meet your new partner, and then become emotionally attached to him or her, only to have the relationship come to a sudden end. A very important fact to remember is that your child has already experienced some degree of loss due to one parent being absent. This must be considered and recognized, especially before introducing your children to a number of different partners who will not be a permanent fixture in your child’s life.

Knowing when to introduce your children to your partner can be difficult to determine. It’s best to err on the side of caution and wait until you are certain that you and your partner will be involved in a long term relationship. Once you are sure that you are ready for your children to meet your partner, you’ll need to determine the best way to handle the introduction.

Preparing your children to meet your new partner is only half the battle. You’ll also need to make sure that your partner is prepared for meeting your children. Acknowledging the fact that your children and your partner might not hit it off right away can save you some aggravation and frustration as well. Speak to your partner about the possibility that there might be issues, and determine a plan or strategy of how you two will handle any confrontations or situations that may arise.

Ensuring that your partner is fully aware that you have children and is open to the role that places him or her in, will make certain that you are a united front. Many children resist the idea of a new partner in their parent’s life. However, with time and patience, together you and your partner can create an environment that your child will be open to. The important thing is not to rush your child, and not to have your partner overstep his or her bounds. Your children need time to adjust to a new partner, and time and patience is key to making that adjustment work.

Source: Work At Home Moms Choices - WAHM Choices

Marcia Chumbley is a work at home mom and grandmother in Minnesota. She is the owner of a Christian Work From Home Moms and Grandparents web site at http://www.faithfulgrannies.com . Bringing generations of Christian Work From Home Moms, Grandmothers, Parents, Boomers and Families together while providing resources, inspiration and affordable advertising while balancing the work at home experience. Also see: Work At Home Divas Online Http://www.workathomedivasonline.com

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